Today Is Now
by Veronica A. Riley
Summary: After countless battles, and years of inner-torment, Jann-Lee and Lei-Fang come to terms with a hard truth they locked inside a long time ago... REVISED & RE-EDITED as of 2008! COMPLETE
1. Part One

(03/'08): It has been about seven years since I wrote this…And what was probably the beginning of my writing career. Anyways, figured I should make some revisions and such; revisions have been made according to the evolution of the game. Criticism of either/or is appreciated. I rarely care enough about your hatred as it is, so it won't help to waste your breath.

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. Dead or Alive and all relating characters are copyright © their original owner. All rights reserved; et cetera, et cetera.

_The past is behind us  
(So don't dwell upon it) _

_The future may never come  
(So don't worry about it) _

_Today is now  
(Make it count) _

_Wayne H. Clouser _

**Part One –**

The loud, annoying buzz of the alarm clock at the side of the bed echoed through the scarcely cluttered room. After a few minutes of outright ignoring it, it was swiftly silenced with a heavy _thud_.

Jann-Lee sat up in bed and groaned as he kicked away the bed sheets. He didn't need the alarm clock to wake him up. He'd barely got any sleep that night as it was. Rubbing his neck, he sighed, recalling how he was aware of every cricket outside his window and every tick of the clock. This was nothing new. He'd been deprived of a good night's rest far longer than he could remember. Still, the previous night set upon him a feeling so unsettling, the evening world ate at him more than usual.

He rubbed his eyes and blinked a couple of times.

The room seemed brighter this morning. Looking up, he noticed the curtains in the room where pulled back and tied neatly with a small purple ribbon. Odd, yet he couldn't recall whether or not he'd closed them the previous night.

Swinging his feet over the side of the bed, he flinched slightly when his toes touched the morning-cold tile floor; he'd have to tell the landlord to do something about the A/C. He stood up and stretched a bit then picked up the large pillow lying on the floor next to his bed. Dropping it back on the bed, he looked back at the hollow room. The bed, a dresser with an attached mirror, a nightstand and simple square rug. Plain and simple, just like how he liked it. Yet it was the lack of anything visibly personal—save for a polished brass trumpet—caused a tension in his spine he wasn't used to.

"Dammit," he mumbled. Today was the day. The day he'd been looking forward to for the last year and a half. Now that it was here, he began to wonder if anticipation was the wrong feeling. After all, one usually felt a tingling of excitement for the incoming, rather than the increasing trepidation in the pit of his stomach that for all he was worth, he couldn't explain.

Either way he was tired of the same old routine—wake up, work, train, then sleep.  Today, he'd just meet like he'd promised and get it over with. Then he could come home and have a beer and relax, maybe get a good night's sleep for once—a pseudo vacation from the everyday trivial of freelance work.

_Like he promised_. The finality of it sounded so…promising. He didn't like that. He was no pessimist, but the idea of anything good happening to him was not something that he nurtured. And he learned early on that expectations only led to disappointment.

"This is ridiculous," he sighed, already frustrated. He'd proved countless times that he was the stronger opponent and this time was going to be no different. Yet for some reason, this time it _was _different. He didn't know why, but the unfamiliar ache of an always familiar fight caused a faint pain in his chest. Gritting his teeth, he attempted to force calm on his nerves. That seemed futile.

After haphazardly making the bed, he made his way into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. The water was ice cold when he dipped his fingers under the spout and he twitched involuntarily at the temperature. Why did nothing seem to work today?  

"Son of a…? Cold tile, cold room, and now cold water. Fantastic." he clenched his jaw at the unusual anger erupting from his conscience. Breathing slowly he shoved his hands under the water and splashed his face.

"Maybe if you try getting carpet, turning up the thermostat _yourself _and letting the water warm up, everything wouldn't seem so wrong, now would it?" said a frighteningly familiar voice.

Jann-Lee bolted upright and stared into the mirror, clumsily turning off the water. He stared at his reflection for a moment before twisting around. Grabbing the shower curtain, he nearly ripped the rack from the walls pulling it back. Nothing. Tentatively, he stepped outside the bathroom and looked around the bedroom, moving next to the conjoining living room and kitchen.

"Who's there?" His voice echoed slightly against the bleak, champagne painted walls. After a few moments of complete silence, Jann-Lee turned back into the bedroom. This was sickening; now his mind was playing tricks on him? Jamming his fingers through his hair, he shuffled back into the bathroom and turned the faucet back on. The water seemed unusually warmer now.

After washing his hands and finishing similar toiletries, he turned the shower on, mindful to turn on the hot water. In that instant he stopped, biting the side of his lip before shaking his head.  This was all ridiculous. Discarding his grey boxers, he stepped into the shower and let the water wet his cool skin. It wasn't much, but it gave him a slight calm that allowed him to clear his mind somewhat.

_Do you honestly want to do this again? To fight for something you know you'd rather not have?_ Jann-Lee's mind quietly whispered to him.

He cracked open his eyes and stared down at the porcelain floor of the shower. Thick, brown lines adorned it, carefully arranged so that the user would not slip and fall while continuing a daily routine of cleansing oneself.

"If only I…"

_If only what?_ He concentrated on banishing the question, however, the thought lingered. It echoed in his head, growing louder until it seemed to take control. _If only you could quit playing these games with yourself and admit that you've been wrong all along… That you are _not_ the stronger opponent?_

"What?" he looked up towards the shower head, blinking away the water that sputtered into his eyes. Setting his hands on the wall in front him, he shook his head and spit. He chuckled slightly at the thought that his mind had a mind of its own. "There is no game," he told himself quietly, "I _am_ stronger."

Stronger how? Sure, he'd won countless tournaments, beating once unbeatable opponents, and more than proved his worth as a warrior and champion. So why, in spite of all of that, did he feel like he was still losing? What was this quiet battle that haunted him in his dreams at night and distracted him during the day? He stared at the showerhead for a while, then stared down at himself, analyzing the suddenly strange feeling of his own skin.

His body was tanned, almost a light bronze, and the muscles in his body weren't crudely developed, but they were by no means soft. Toned was still an awkward way to describe it. The thin hairs covering his arms, legs, and chest were few and curled and matted. 'A lucky break that came with being Asian,' Hayate would joke.

After some time, Jann-Lee turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around himself and shaking the excess water from his hair. He walked out of the bathroom, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the tile, and headed for his closet. Sliding it open, he pushed the rest of his clothes aside and reached behind them for the single black outfit in the back. He sighed as he looked at after laying it out on the bed, and then moved to slip on his boxers.

Once he was fully dressed, he walked to the mirror sitting atop his dresser and stared at his reflection for a while, before looking down to find his comb. Running it twice through his short hair, he brought his head up to double check his reflection. His mouth went dry and a chill enveloped his skin in gooseflesh. The sweet mocha brown eyes that stared back at him twinkled with amusement. The heart shaped face framed by chocolate locks. He felt his chest tighten.

"Hi," she grinned.

Jann-Lee's eyes widened and he twisted around; still no one what there. After turning his head a few times, he reached behind the mirror and looked behind it. The narrow space between the back and the wall revealed it as a simple, flat mirror. Turning back, he stared open-mouthed at the reflection, now eyeing him innocently.

"Oh, yes. I'm quite unreal, aren't I?" her grin turned lopsided.

"W-Who…are you?" Jann-Lee sputtered out.

She blinked a couple of time before answering, feigning offense with pout lips, "Oh, darling, I'm Lei-Fang, of course. How could you forget me so easily?"

Jann-Lee's eyes narrowed inauspiciously at the answer. "Liar."

Her pout morphed into a tiny smirk. "Who I am is of nothing to you; I think you've made that quite clear this past year. The question is: _who_ are _you_?"

"W-What? I…I'm Jann-Lee," he countered. The figure smirked on but shook her head and sighed.

"Simple minded as ever, just as they said you'd be. I think too much training has neglected your intelligence," she giggled.

"Who? No, forget that. _What_ is going on here?" He felt breathless, almost exasperated.

She shook her head, "I am not asking you what your name is; I am asking who you are. Are you a man who is willing to realize what is right in front of his eyes? Or are you just another male whose pride is more important than his happiness?"

Jann-Lee quirked his brow, confused.

"My point exactly. You don't know who you really are, do you? You've spent so long trying to grow stronger, trying to be the best, than now it's all you can think about. The bullies are gone now; winning isn't everything," she had lost her smirk and now her eyebrows furrowed slightly. The crystal clear mocha of her eyes darkened to point of seriousness that irritated Jann-Lee.

"It i—" he began.

"No. It's not," she interrupted. "You've wasted your adulthood believing the stronger you are the most power you'll have. You used to fight to hide the pain…now you don't fight for of _anything_; you fight to show others that you're strong. Yet in reality, that's not strength, that's arrogance." She crossed her arms, settling her weight on one leg. "And you know as well I as do that arrogance is just an excuse." The familiar red dress was just as form-fitting as always, and seemed to emphasize the determinedness of her figure at getting her point across.

Jann-Lee eyed her carefully, pursing his lips. "Don't preach to me about knowing who I am and why I fight. I fight to live; I fight because if I didn't, I'd be a stray dog left out on the street to rot." He took a breath, forcing the images of his past out of his mind. It seemed the distractions were just adding up this morning. "My skill doesn't boast arrogance, it speaks of strength and—"

"Discipline," she echoed, rolling her eyes. His mouth snapped shut and he clenched his fists. This apparition was starting to hound him and he didn't like being talked down to. "Spare me your so-called argument, I've heard it before. It's all you ever _try_ to think about."

There was a coy look in her eyes now. "And you only _try_ to think about it when your mind starts to _wander_." Jann-Lee looked at her carefully. She was getting into something he really, really did not like to think about. "And when your mind starts to _wander_, you start to think about the very first time you actually played a hero."

A muscle in his jaw twitched.

"I think it was made perfectly clear that I was no hero. Rather, a nuisance," he said matter-of-factly.

"Oh pish-tosh. Listen to yourself, Jann-Lee," she said, faintly annoyed. "You're letting your anger cloud your mind, like _always_. And your pride cloud your feelings."

"I don't have any feelings. For _anyone._" He pointed out.

She smirked, "Liar."A shroud of rage encircled him and he breathed in, but she continued before he could get anything out. "You're human just like the rest of us and just like the rest of us you _feel_. In _fact,_ you feel—quite particularly, I might add—for _someone. _God knows why you try to mask it all with the stoic, apathetic exterior that clearly is the biggest lie you've ever to—"

"Listen, I don't know who you are or what you are or what you're trying to do to me here, but I'm sick of this bullshit!" By now, Jann-Lee's anger was showing through and clear. His eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, and fists clenched even tighter, leaving his knuckles white. "No one told me how to feel when I was young, and I'll be damned if some _ghost_ I made up for God knows what reason, is going to tell me how to feel _now!_ I don't need your mind games."

Her expression turned bleak and her eyes narrowed. "I am not here to play games; you've accomplished that well enough on your own. I'm simply here to guide you into admitting the truth you so fervently deny. You have a nasty habit of writing off personal feelings as petty and weak—two attributes you obviously treat as completely unforgivable."

"You want to guide me to the truth? What truth? That you're just a figment of my imagination? A shitty excuse for a hallucination? And maybe I _am_ the one playing the games. I mean, of all things, _you're _the best I could come up with," he threw his arms up and leaned against the dresser, laughing quietly to himself. This was insane; he had to be dreaming…yet the churning of his stomach reminded him that despite this imagery before him, he was very much awake.

The vision gasped and glared at him, open-mouthed and insulted. Her voice was low, and condescending, "If you weren't such a damn stubborn buffoon, then you wouldn't _have_ to conjure up hallucinations to argue with—you'd actually have a few friends, wouldn't you? Maybe even someone _more._"

A chord snapped inside, and Jann-Lee's fist swung out and smashed into the mirror. He breathed deeply, attempting to talk himself into a better reason for doing that than simply offense. It wasn't that he was insulted by the comment—by all means, it was hard to insult him for anything—it was that he was unnerved. The vague hint of truth in her comment caused the familiar ache in his chest to hum. His fist still connected to the ruined mirror, he left it there for a moment longer, barely noticing the blood oozing down the broken glass. His jaw clenched and he felt a shiver as his teeth ground together. He hissed as he breathed in and quickly let it go. This…thing was working his nerves more than any sparring session ever had. In reality, his reaction was _not_ a good premonition; and today was under no circumstances the day bad premonitions should be occurring.

"Mature." The voice sounded like an echo and after his frustrated reverie, he looked up and choked as the figure reflected in every shard. His hand swung again and broke the mirror into even more pieces. Pain was not an issue. On the other hand, the insanity that was slowly becoming his day was.

"Go. Away." Jann-Lee quickly turned, stressed and aggravated, and made his way to the bathroom. The voice sounded behind him. "Living in the past will do nothing to your future. If you don't start counting _now,_ the _then_ will never matter."

"Shut up." He said evenly. He whipped around to face the figure but only saw a shattered, empty mirror. Shards were strewn about the dresser, glinting off the sunlight cascading into the room. A few scattered on the nearby floor. Still, Jann-Lee ignored the notion to clean them up, instead focusing on erasing her last words from his mind. What did he care about the future? There was nothing in it. He already accepted his bachelorhood as private and secluded. The only difference about today was that this was all pre-arranged and not at his request. He was simply…humoring his opponent.

As he stood there, in the middle of his bedroom, he realized it wasn't so much the pain of the impact on his knuckles that caught his attention, but rather, the vague uneasiness of being lied to…

"Aw, shit." He turned and continued towards the bathroom, and rinsed his hand.

Not bothering to bandage the flesh wound, he looked at the clock. As the minute changed to read 12:45 P.M., he groaned. Wonderful, he was going to be late. He grabbed the keys to his apartment and glanced at the broken mirror once last time before leaving.

He chuckled cynically as the classic superstition crossed his mind. Weirder things had happened. After all, he'd just had a half-hour long conversation with a figment of his imagination. How bad could bad luck get?

Nearly slamming the heavy door, he pushed the thoughts out of his mind. There was no time no to worry about _any_ kind of distraction. He would fight. He would win. And that was it.

As Jann-Lee made his way through the city, he snatched an apple from a traveling vendor stand that commonly circled the district where his apartment was located. He might as well occupy his time with eating, for doing any thinking was out of the question. He was not about to spend the hour and a half long walk to the temple outside the city permeated with thought.

After discarding the apple core in a well placed trash bin, he struggled to find something else to occupy his mind with. The struggle proved futile, however, when all he _could_ think about was the figures last words before conveniently disappearing.

_"If you don't start counting _now_, the _then_ will never matter."_

He sighed, turning as he began the lengthy walk of steps up the mountain to the shrine. What he couldn't figure out was how _real_ it all seemed. If it really was all in his head, then he should have been able to be done with the whole charade in a snap. And yet he wasn't. In fact, had there been any chance that someone would walk in, he would come off looking like a lunatic, standing there yelling at his own reflection. But as farfetched as the whole situation was, the amount it upset him was beyond normal.   

"Shit…" This was turning out to be far more confusing than any one person needed at the moment.

"A-hem!" Jann-Lee was startled out of his thoughts. Quickly gaining his composure he looked up into the eyes of a middle-aged woman and her young daughter. The expression on her face was none too happy, either. Clutching her daughter small hand, she pulled her close and pursed her lips. "I hope a gentleman such as you does not use that sort of profanity on an everyday basis."

Jann-Lee stared at her, rendered speechless and dumb. He quickly recomposed himself and bowed, mumbling a barely coherent apology. The woman seemed satisfied enough and continued down the steps

Clutching her mother's hand as she stuffed her mouth full of a too-large lollipop, she stared at Jann-Lee with round chocolate brown eyes, her pigtails horribly lopsided. Suddenly, her mouth stretched into a wide, toothy grin, briefly letting go of the lollipop to wave a no doubt slimy and sticky hand his way.

Instinctively, he waved back, staring at her with a mixture of puzzlement and amusement. He heard her faint giggle as she hobbled behind her mother, and without warning, a familiar face flashed before his eyes.

Hastily shaking his head, he thrust his fingers through his hair, sighing in frustration. As he continued up the steps towards the top, he watched the few shrine maidens sweep the grounds, stopping only occasionally to switch to a new position. As he finally reached the top of the stairs, just before the main temple building, he veered left, towards a small self-made path off the side tucked behind a cluster of thick foliage. The row of trees and their thick trunks on one side and the rise of the mountain on the other helped to keep it scarcely visible from sight, lest you were _actually_ looking for it. It was for this reason that made it such a perfect spot to train. Or in today's case, battle.

As he pushed his way down the path, a nauseous feeling began to churn in his stomach, adding to the sickening anticipation he'd been feeling since the moment he opened his eyes. He frowned, trying to find something else other than the forthcoming battle to blame this new feeling on. The apple? No, he'd ate from there before…there was no chance one little apple could amount to what he was feeling right now.

As he thought about it, the brush around him slowly began to clear, until a crystal clearing opened before him. Surrounded by mountains that stretched on as far as the eye could see, and dotted with various extensions and additions to the temple that split into a series of wings few were allowed to venture into, the view only thrilled more with an inch-deep pool that was part of a series of natural filters. The ornate buildings were connected by a string of equally gorgeous bridges. Without looking up, he knew one of those very bridges crossed a ways above him. His ears picked up the tranquil flow of the stream that emptied into the pool before him before pouring over the edge.

As Jann-Lee pushed through the last shrubbery to step into pool, he fixed his eyes upon the silhouetted figure that stood at the edge of the cliff. The wind caught in the lapels of the figure's dress, drawing the fabric away somewhat. Still, there was nothing that could cause him to mistake the sinewy figure for someone else; it was ingrained deep in his mind.

Knowing well enough who it was, the anticipation building inside him all day had reached a peak. His blood thrummed with the thrill of release, and his heart pounded in his ears like never before. Vaguely and momentarily, he questioned all of this, but soon pushed that aside. He'd come too far to turn back now.

Realizing his presence, the figure turned to look at him askance. Staring at him over the neatly braided loop of a pigtail, Jann-Lee only faintly noticed something odd flash through the familiar mocha eyes. A strange tingling in his spine chilled him, but he fought to ignore it.

The figure finally turned to face him and step forward, smiling, and he noted something strained about it; yet pushed that aside as well.

The lilt of the voice was unmistakable and in a rush of heat, Jann-Lee felt thrilled. His reply was simple.

"I'm still here."

A/N #2:_ And there's chapter one. Revised and Re-edited (yes, they are two different things). Now I sleep._


	2. Part Two

(04/08): _If anybody read this BEFORE this revision…I'm sorry. This sucked. Balls. Yet, for some reason people read it. I'm impressed. _

_(And I am under no circumstances responsible for the "nickname" that marked the pages in the past.)_

Part Two —

Lei-Fang groaned inwardly as the morning sun shined on her closed eyes. She winced and pulled the pillow from underneath her over her face, burrowing deeper into the heavy blue comforter. Struggling to hold on to the last remnants of sleep, common sense slowly returned as her mind released its hold on the unusual dream she'd been having.

She lay there motionless for a few moments before mumbling a small curse and sitting up. Dragging herself from under the warm covers, she kicked them to the edge of her queen sized bed, tangling her feet up in the process. Irritable, she kicked hard making they cluster in a messy heap at the foot of the mattress near the exotically carved footboard.

Lei-Fang turned and glared at the clock. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she dragged her hands over her face, attempting to focus her vision. The minute hand ticked ever-so-slightly, reading 9:32 A.M. Still early; if she fell asleep now, she could gain another two or three hours before having to get ready for work. She yawned, letting her dead weight fall back into the fluffy mattress.

With only a few moments dozing, her eyes snapped open and she sat up with a start_. _Staring wide-eyed and frozen towards the open window at the other end of the small bedroom, she nearly forgot to breathe.

It was today.

She shuddered as her brain recalled the foreboding she's felt all last night. A year and half, already. Her uneasiness over the past few weeks had increased to a near sickness. On par with her anger, this day had been grown into a bane on her daily life as it dawned closer. Nevertheless, she couldn't exactly blame anyone but herself: she did issue the challenge.

As the memory once again played through her mind's eye, she felt her heartbeat quicken. The fight was uneven. And stupid. She was clearly the weaker opponent, what riddled with insult and rage. All he did was…what? Forget to move his foot? If she'd been paying more attention to where she was going and not rushing around like a chicken with her head cut off, she might have seen the tip of his shoe sticking out from under the table cloth. She'd gone down hard, spilling the entire tray of food and breaking a few dishes in the process.

Frazzled and embarrassed, the words left her mouth before she could stop them. Who was she to cry over spilt milk? It had happened before. And each time, it was clearly an accident. But thinking back, she'd realized that wasn't the case. When she'd looked back up at him, there was no remorse, no guilt in his eyes. And he laughed outright and openly at her, never once pausing even as he made his way out the door of the modestly spaced shop.

Disregarding any rational thought, she ran after him outside, her blood nearly boiling. Suddenly, it all became a game to him, a chase; a long, frustrating chase through narrow streets, and quiet back-alleys, into peaceful neighborhoods and up hundreds of steps. She didn't know why he'd led her to that spot, since even as she arrived, her brain was still muddled with fury. When she finally stopped, the splendor of the place was almost enough to make her forget about her quarrel with him.

_Almost._

She hadn't had a good chance take in everything, but at the barest glance, the place was magical. As she quickly drew in her surroundings, a force unlike anything else she'd ever felt overcame her. Looking back at him, she struggled with the emotions raging inside her. There was nothing like the astonishment she felt in those russet-brown eyes as the unmistakable laughter still glittered pointedly at her, and she felt herself shiver under his pompous gaze.

The exchange was quick; she would definitely give it that.

So quick, in fact, she was left not only defeated, but soaking and cold.

He'd won easily. If she had been more focused, she wouldn't have gone down so easily. But like before, she let his taunting eat at her, picking at her until she was just fed up and ready to explode. And explode she did. She tossed out every rule, every mantra she'd memorized and let it fly. She was clumsy, sloppy, but most of all, completely and helplessly unfocused. With a single sweep of his leg, it was over. A gentle push to her shoulders and she was flying over the edge of the slender waterfall, into the shallow pool below. The smooth surface of the rocks below wasn't as painful as she'd expected it to be; there was enough water to cushion her fall.

When she'd stood back up in the knee-deep water, she looked up to see standing at the edge, staring down at her arrogantly. His body was stiff, fists clenched, and except for the hauteur in his eyes, his face was expressionless. She glared at him, teeth grit, ready to scream. The emotion flooding through her was unexplainable; she'd never felt so humiliated. Her chest heaved and she resisted the urge to shriek. There was no point; anything that came out would just be incoherent. She was fairly positive she had been too exhausted to come up with anything remotely intelligible.

Time stilled as he stared down at her, a strange expression flashing through his eyes. Strange enough, in fact, to shake her of her vehemence and make her heart skip a beat. What the hell was that?

He blinked a couple of times and shook his head, ending the moment in an attempt to regain his composure it looked like. Staring down at her obstinately, his lips curled into a nasty smirk.

Angry once again, she clenched her fists so tight they would have bled had her nails been any longer. Finally finding the words, she heaved in a breath, "So help me… I'll beat you! I'll find a way and I'll beat you, you jackass!"

His smirk morphed into an outright grin and for moment, she thought he might actually laugh.

"Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart," he called back. His voice was composed, as was he,  but to Lei-Fang's ears, the amusement was obvious. It burned her. _Sweetheart?!_

"One year! You meet me here in one year—no—a year and half, and we'll settle this, _once and for all!_" Like she said, the words left her mouth before she could stop them.

Chuckling, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Sure, just don't forget." And with a wink, turned and left.

The emotions that shot through her body were impossible to forget.  She shivered. Had he always done that? Winked before? And what was that look he had for a split second?

She thought about even as she's climbed up the slippery rocks and then shuffled her way home, wet and miserable.  He'd stared into her eyes the entire fight, but she had been too caught up in trying to beat him to notice anything. When she'd finally reached home, she felt like she'd been sucked dry of all energy. Well, that's what she got for acting out the way she did.

Lei-Fang shuddered as the memory ebbed from her mind.

She could still feel his fingers lightly brushing against her sensitive skin as he'd pushed her. The brief contact revealed too much, too much of something she wasn't at all sure about. She could feel the electric pulse of the warmth that sprang from his touch.

There was something amusing and incredulous about think that someone like him could ever have an inch of warmth on him. He was so cold, and callous. Fighting was his goal; winning was what he lived for. The only person he even had any remote contact with was Hayate…and even _that_ was few and far apart.

Sighing, she pulled on the thin silk robe that lay tangled on the floor beside her bed. Slipping her feet into a pair of slippers, she shuffled out of her room and down the stairs, mumbling a good morning to the housekeeper. Turning into the kitchen, she languidly reached into a nearby cabinet and pulled out a box cat food, only to realize the bowl was completely full and being currently devoured by a very fat, very big orange cat.

"Morning, Kittie." Replacing the cat food, she instead pulled at a box of cereal and proceeded to eat from the box.

A glass of milk, an apple, a minute of the morning news before flipping through channels—twice—she finally turned off the television and decided to drag herself back upstairs.

_Same old news, same old day, same old fight,_ she thought, heartlessly. Why should today be any different than yesterday? Or the day before; or for that matter, her whole damn life?

_Is it really the same?_ Asked a tiny voice in her head, a faint piece of her brain that perked up every now and then when she began to think too hard about anything. Why would she be asking her herself a question like that _now_? What was so hard about _this_?

She shook the thought from her head as she reached the top of the stair and turned back into her bedroom. Shaking off her robe, she dropped it haphazardly over the bedraggled covers and moved to her dresser. pulling out the necessary objects. Moving to the bathroom just outside her bedroom, she set everything down and turned on the shower, reaching in to test the water before discarding her nightshirt and undies.

The warmth of the water brought her sense up a little. She'd been sleeping so erratically these past few nights, she was surprised she could sleep at all. An early night one evening, a late night the other. She wasn't sure why, but she could think of a few stressful incidents causing it; namely _one_. As each second ticked by, the imposing feeling in the pit of her stomach increased. She'd shouted the challenge so easily, yet she knew backing it up was the hard part. And what had she down this past year and half to really justify her winning? She trained, sure, but she'd been training for years and that never made a difference. Winning was always just out of her reach. He always—_always—_pulled something out at the last minute that just crushed her.

She was sure he'd learned some new tricks over the lapse of time. He was strong, there was no doubt about that, and he knew it; still, he wasn't one to just sit back and welcome the new day. Every minute counted with him. There was no time to waste on a breather. It was _all_ crucial.

So just how did she plan to win this time?

_Are you positive that you want to win?_

Snapped out of her thoughts she stared at the water running down her skin. "What..?"

She stood there under the water and moment before dismissing the voice as a stray thought in her mind. There was a soft padding at the door and she smiled faintly to her self. She felt flushed under the heat of the water, and despite the temperature, her muscles were still tight.

_You know you don't want to do this._

Lei-Fang shivered. Now she was positive there was a voice…though she wasn't sure if it was in her head or not. "Who's there?"

She stood frozen under the water for a while before thinking that it didn't seem as warm as it used to. Quickly washing her hair and body, she stepped out and toweled herself dry, moving to put on her undergarments. When she was done, she walked out of the steamy bathroom and back into her bedroom. For some reason, standing before the open closet, she felt tense as she pushed aside her everyday clothes and reached for the silken dresses carefully tucked to the side.

She fingered the ornate features of the one she was going to wear. Its pearly white color with golden-threaded trim, caressing the golden dragon clad with purple that swept up from the bottom of the dress and wrapped the neckline, its head peeking over the shoulder.

She smiled hesitantly and pulled it off its hanger. After fitting it to her, she closed her closet door and stood before the full length mirror. A quick brush through her hair before braiding and wrapping just as she always did—a signature she now wondered why she'd kept so long.

Smoothing the folds if to nor more than occupy her hands, she noticed the tiny pink scar on the back of her heel as she turned around. She frowned; a little reminder of her utter foolishness a year and a half ago. It was her only battle-would, other that her wounded pride.

_You only tell yourself you hate it._

Lei-Fang jumped and stared at herself in the mirror. It was back; that eerie voice that sound uncannily like her own. Still, staring into the mirror, she was the only one there. "Who are you?" she asked, afraid to turn away.

_Oh, nobody special—I _guess_ you could just call me your conscience. In all honesty, I'm you._

Lei-Fang blinked a couple of times, warily. She turned to look around her room, but was still the only one there. Her voice was slightly unsteady when she spoke again, "What do you mean 'you're me'?"

_Don't feel so frightened. You're not going to see me unless you take a good long look at yourself.  I'm just that little piece of you that you apparently forgot about a long time ago._

"Forgot about..? Wait, what? "

_Not a very bright person, am I? Oh, but that's not the point, is it?_

"So then what is the point, if it's not to find out who you are?"

_The point?__ Well, the point is more like a question and answer. The question being 'do you really want to go through this again? And the answer being…well, that's what you don't exactly realize. It's just a tiny mark, but it sure does remind you of him, more often than not. _

"Don't you think I realize that—" she'd heaved in another breath to say more, but snapped her jaw shut when she realized the meaning of her words.

_Ahh__…so if it matters so much to you, tell me why exactly you continue to fight him?_

"It's not _my_ fault! He treats me like a child…how can _anyone_ forget the way that man treats them? He looks at me like I'm…like I'm weak…"

_You are not entirely innocent, either. You've done your fair share of mockery as well._

Lei-Fang was quiet, nibbling slightly on the side of her lip. "He doesn't think I'm a worthy enough opponent. I'm just…an inconvenience."

_If  you__ were such a bother, do you think he would spare you the time to fight?_

"Of course! His arrogance speaks for itself!" she cried. She could feel the anger churn inside her, making her cheeks flame.

_I don't think that's the case, and I think you might agree, despite what you think. Arrogance in battle is usually just a façade, an attempt to overpower the truth._

Lei-Fang crossed her arms, leaning back to balance her weight on the mirror behind her and shook her head, "What truth? I think he makes a pretty clear point."

_The kind of truth that maybe you can relate to…_

A tremble of laughter bubbled up from inside and Lei-Fang couldn't hold it back. "Relate to? You think we have _anything_ in common?"

_I think you both have more in common than your pride allows you. After all, it was _your_ pride that started all of this in the first place, didn't it, Lei-Fang._

Lei-Fang narrowed her eyes at nothing, in particular, he arms slackening. "…What?"

The voice seemed to sigh in annoyance. _Oh, will you just admit it already?_

"Admit what?"

_That you're in-love with Him._

"That I'm _what_?" Lei-Fang almost choked, an unfamiliar feeling tingling at the bottom of her spine.

_Oh, stop it! This is getting to be ridiculous. You have the physical strength and ability to defeat him, yet regardless of your martial knowledge you still lose every fight. You think he'd come after you in a fit of vengeance if you actually won? He's not like that, and you know it. So you lose. Losing is just your excuse to see him again. And again. And again._

"Love has _nothing_ do with why I fight him…he embarrassed me and dishonored me."

_How? By rescuing you?_

"By—!" She stood open-mouthed for a while, searching for something to say, before letting her body slide down to the floor. "By…" 

_You see? You said you were grateful to him before…so where did all this anger come from? This desire to be so much better than him?_

Lei-Fang was quiet. She stared down at the floor beneath her and pulled her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "I…I don't know…"

_Well, then…are you finally going to realize and acknowledge it?_

She looked up dazedly, her eyes unfocused on the room. "Realize…what?"

_Lei-Fang, you're not a child anymore; you're a grown young woman now. Prove to the world that you've grown up and let yourself love. Accepting what you feel can make you a much more powerful person._

Lei-Fang began to shiver, her brows creased. "W-why?"

_Why what?_

"Fighting him is so much easier. I don't have to think about anything…I just do it. If I…if I admit it, then the fight won't be the same." Tears began to pool the corner of her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but they were just replaced with more.   

_You may have been satisfied with simply fighting him, but you can't deny that you weren't happy. Unrequited love is never a good thing. Will you be satisfied with it when your aged and lonely?_

Lei-Fang thought for a moment, rubbing her eyes. "N-no."

The voice was quiet for a while, before whispering, _Then do it._

Lei-Fang let her head fall back, _thumping_ against the mirror. She gave up rubbing her eyes as the tears she'd tried to hold in traced paths down her cheeks.

It was true; she _was_ in-love with him. She didn't know when it happened…but it did.  In the beginning, it was all about strength, about trying to prove her worth up against a stronger opponent. She'd thought that the little tingles she felt in the back of her neck where nothing more than the flutters of infatuation. How was she to know they would turn into the beginnings of actual love? He was an aspiration, a ring in a ladder to her primary objective. It wasn't until now that she realized she wasn't exactly sure of what that objective was anymore. Fighting him had somehow replaced whatever it originally was.

Now, even fighting was a useless objective. It was losing that she aspired to.

And still, he agreed every time. Never once thinking twice about it.

Sure, he'd told her it was impossible to win, but he never actually denied her. Whether arranged or accidental, he fought back.  

In a twisted, narcissistic sense, it made him perfect gentleman.

It all caused a single question come to mind. _Why?_

She was just an opponent to him, an easy win. There was no way any of it could have actually mattered to him. It was all almost like a game to him.

She felt the tears begin to fall harder at the thought and slouched forward. How could she have let this happen? Feeling stupid and foolish, she groaned.

"This is impossible…" she mumbled.

_Not so. He could feel the same._

Lei-Fang blinked. "What?"

_If you've realized your feelings, what's to say that He hasn't?_

"That's impossible. He's not…like me. He has no ambition to fight and win besides being the best. He has no compassion, no empathy, no…no…heart. He could never be in-love. I'm just a toy; a practice tool."

_Don't be so hard on yourself. You know what kind of life he's had…different people open up in different ways. He just needs little 'push', is all._

Lei-Fang sniffled. "A push…"

She suddenly felt amused and giddy. _You're a big girl now. Get out there and show him a style of fighting._

Lei-Fang smiled, sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes. Sitting for a moment, she thought of what she was going to do before standing up and moving out of her room towards the bathroom. Splashing her face, she attempted to wipe the redness from her eyes.

She quickly finished dressing and rushed downstairs, saying a quick goodbye to the housekeeper. As she rushed out the door, she breathed in the fresh air, thinking to herself what she told him a year and a half ago.

Standing at the edge of the overhang, she stared at the scenery before her. The soothing sounds of nature wafted by her and she closed her eyes.

Since she hadn't had a chance to take everything in last time, so she'd headed her a bit before schedule. Now standing here alone, she could understand the beauty and tranquility of this place. There was something…ethereal about it that caused a quivering in her belly.

The sun had passed over head, causing Lei-Fang to look at her watch. Just a quarter after 2:00 p.m. She blinked against the sun and looked down at the shallow pool she'd fallen into a year and a half ago. The light breeze had caused ripples in the water, and the reflections glittered against the rocks and foliage.

She'd become a little more in touch with her thoughts in the time that she'd stood there, reliving her past battles. This time she'd win. She wasn't quite sure how, but defeat was not an option this time.

The chill of another presence crawled up her spine and she moved her head to look through her peripherals. She could see the lazy smirk that his lips seemed indefinitely curled into. There was a quick thrill of anticipation before she saw something flash through his eyes and his form stiffen, then relax. Turning she moved into the ankle deep water, terrified inside as she held his gaze.

"You're late," was all she said. Anymore and she would have cracked, then and there.

"I'm still here," He said blatantly

Oh, this will be fun, Lei-Fang thought, amused. This will be _very_ fun.

A/N #2: _ I'm amused right now because according to my original 'author's note', I was up past bedtime. _

_And that, my friends, was a very, _very_ long time ago…_


	3. Part Three

(04/'08): _Haha__… "I tried to end this with a BANG…" A very, unlikely, out-of-character 'bang' that, looking back on it now, was the worst possible idea for this._

**Part Three** —

Jann Lee let the smile pass over his lips. The look on Lei-Fang's face was priceless. She looked almost...thoughtful. There was a feeling of hesitation tingling in the muscles in his lower back, and the feeling caused him to briefly think back to this morning's charade.

"Ready?" he asked, pushing the feeling aside. They both knew that despite his question, this meant the fight had already started.

Lei-Fang's thoughtful expression disappeared and was replaced with a toothy grin, lopsided—a somewhat imitation of the one Jann-Lee wore. He couldn't help but note that her eyes held a mischievous sparkle, and he began to feel an uncomfortable foreboding. 

As she moved towards him, Lei-Fang allowed a quiet chuckle to escape her lips, even though she felt stiffer than ever.

"As cliché as this may sound," she started, "are _you_ ready?" That mischievous glint appeared to increase at her words. Jann Lee pushed back the foreboding in his stomach and concentrated on the task at hand.

He chuckled slightly, "Such bold words for someone about to lose." He quickly stepped closer and cracked his neck.

Watching Lei-Fang approach, level-headed and intent, nearly made Jann-Lee shudder. What the hell was making him so uncomfortable? While he wasn't about to compare this morning's unusual incident to any awkwardness he'd developed in standing there only a few minutes, he still couldn't put his finger on _it, _exactly. She looked normal enough—white cheongsam, pigtails, low pumps—the same as she always had for every fight. So why did she seem so…_different_?

_'Do you honestly want to do this again? To fight for something you'd rather not have?'_

Taking a deep breath, he rolled his shoulders back, focusing his energy.

Lei-Fang smiled inwardly as the advantage she's already managed to obtain. Something was bothering him, she could tell. His focus was unsteady, and though he tried to hide it, it was still quite evident. This would prove valuable for her to win. She let herself be outwardly pleased, though, with the little expression that played across his face.

Jann Lee shook himself as he moved into a fighting stance, and carefully watched Lei-Fang do the same. Their movements caused the ripples in the water to crash into each other, creating brilliant flashes of color in the shallow pool. Breathing in, Lei-Fang balanced herself as she moved into her basic stance, undulating her arms in slow, rhythmic movements as she stared at the man before her. Jann-Lee returned her steady gaze, feeling a surge of excitement pulse through his veins as he balled his fists.

"This time I _will_ win this." Lei-Fang could feel her muscles tighten.

The corner of his lip curled up sardonically as Jann-Lee coughed and readied himself. "Begin!"

Lei-Fang rushed in, a plan quickly demising in her head. She swung her left leg up, grazing Jann-Lee's head. As he ducked, he sidestepped and crouched low as he swept a leg behind and around him to knock her over. She dodged it swiftly, swinging her other leg into the air, and quickly spun parallel to the ground just a few feet below her, landing softly. Jann-Lee finished his unsuccessful attack and quickly readjusted himself back into his previous stance.

"… new," he scoffed. Lei-Fang let a tiny smirk play upon her lips as she moved into a different stance.

"I know."

A moment passed before either of them moved. Falling into the splits, Lei-Fang dodged Jann-Lee as he stepped to the side, and swiftly moved out of the way of his heavy fist, disregarding the cold of the water below her.

Knocking her heel in Jann Lee's toe, his knee bent slightly and Lei-Fang jumped at the chance to knock him off his feet.

After pushing away the slight stinging in his foot, he blinked and looked up to see Lei-Fang's leg swinging around from behind her toward his head. He ducked just in time but barely by an inch. Twisting around quickly, he slammed his heel into her foot and swung his other leg backwards to knock her backwards, his cry echoing against the terrain.

As she hastily regained herself, she only had a moments notice as Jann-Lee charged after her. Leaping into the air, she whirled around just as he reached her and pounded each of her outstretched legs into his back, one right after the other, watching blissfully as his face smashed into the water. However, he was up in seconds flat, and glaring at her.

That smirk that Lei-Fang struggled to hold back before had no chance to release itself as his right hook connected perfectly with her solar plexus. She felt him grab her wrist and pull her forward, laying two flawlessly placed kicks to her left side.

As she reeled backwards and coughed, she thought for a moment. She didn't like the idea forming in her head…but honestly, what else did she have to lose?

Stepping towards him, she kicked twice, then brought her palms forward. As expected, he blocked them easily. Although instead of forcing a strike, she countered his blocks and shot her right hand forward, aiming for his right eye.  As he dodged, there was no room to block with his own limbs, and instead shifted his head to the side, feeling the brush of wind from her movement.

The resulting occurrence of his dodge, however, brought forth some very uncomfortable consequences. Without a moment's notice, Jann-Lee felt his face enveloped in a cool, smooth cushion. He squeezed his eyes shut drawing an alarming blank, until a familiar voice squealed very near his ears.

As rationality quickly came back, his composure fumbled as the only thing he could think to do was get back as far away as possible. Grabbing blindly with his hands, he shoved as hard as she could. As light flashed across his pupils once more, he felt a warmth envelope his face as Lei-Fang's breasts moved farther from his contact. With one last shove, he watched her whole body stiffly land only a few feet away.

He'd done exactly was she'd thought he'd do. The blush that crawled across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose caused a satisfaction in Lei-Fang she didn't even know she could feel. Of course, she had no doubt her own face burned a few different shades of red.  

That was far too easy.

Shock glittered in Jann-Lee's eyes as he glared at her. The red that stained his cheeks could match any cherry red on a sundae.

Jann-Lee struggled to breathe normally. His heart was pounding and he could feel his face burn with embarrassment. Yet in spite of the uncomfortable situation, her annoyed expression seemed put on and forced. He jumped back before barely noticing the unusually common glint in her eyes, as well as a light blush tinting her cheeks.

_How…did that happen?_ The question vaguely ran through his mind.

"Pervert..." Lei-Fang mumbled.

Jann Lee twitched slightly at her comment. "What? No—wait!"

Before he could finish, she'd rushed him, double kicking and moving to shove her shoulder into him. She quietly buried the emotion that flooded her system. She suspected he knew what she was doing, so instead of shifting forwards to connect a punch, she pushed herself backwards, readying to swing her leg behind her.

She wasn't aware, though, that Jann-Lee had wrapped a hand around her wrist and tugged her forward, knocking her off balance as she attempted to make contact. As he grabbed her thigh just above her knee, she felt him lift her off the ground slightly.

"Wha-?" She squealed as felt herself heaving upwards, leaving her in an extremely difficult position to move, and causing a pitching pain in the muscles of her lower back. She felt a cramp begin to pulse in her hip as his rolled backwards.

"You jackass..." Lei-Fang spat.

"Oh no…. You didn't think I was going to just let you get away with anything after that first…stunt you pulled." His voice sounded strained.

Lei-Fang tried glared at him, but it was increasingly difficult as with him behind her. "You moved, I stumbled. If anything, it was _your_ fault."

Jann Lee scoffed.

"Oh, don't you…," he began. "You did that on _purpose_ so don't try to blame your cheating techniques on me!"

Lei-Fang tried to shift, and swung her free elbow backwards, but felt it connect with nothing as only his rough hair grazed her skin. "I was not cheating!"

There was a soft chuckle that she feared would turn into an all out laugh—an impossibility that would end the battle right there as she wouldn't be able to take it seriously. However, it was not a laugh that emanated from him, but words so chilling, she felt herself stiffen, and her heart pound painfully in her chest.

"Truly, Lei-Fang I thought you were better than that. Here I almost thought you were serious about this fight. But as always, you waste my time with these _tantrums_." The knot that he'd felt at the beginning of the battle returned with a vengeance and felt unlike anything he'd ever felt before. A sudden unfamiliar regret washed through him.

She felt the air leave her lungs when an uncomfortable burning began to sting her eyes as he lifted her even higher above him. For a moment, she felt him tense before throwing her some feet away from him with not so much as a sound. Lei-Fang gasped. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing would come out. She felt all sound disappear from her throat.

When Lei-Fang hit the watery ground with a loud splash, she didn't feel much except for the conspicuous pain that rumbled through her insides.

She hadn't fallen on her side. Out of unconscious reaction she'd maneuvered and landed on her feet but abruptly lost balance, falling to her knees. She slumped forward, ignoring the pain it caused her in her lower back, staring at the ripples her tears made in the water.

Tears. She was crying. She rarely cried.

_'Different people open up in different ways. He just needs little 'push', is all.'_

"Push," she sighed, laughing quietly to herself. "A _push_."

_How could I be so stupid? Falling for a jerk like him._ Lei-Fang sulked to herself, breathing slowly, struggling to keep anymore tears from falling. This wasn't worth it, she told herself, and he wasn't worth her tears.

_I'm so stupid._

Jann Lee stood there, staring at a fallen Lei-Fang. Since she's recovered herself only to slip in the water, she hadn't moved. It was odd and uncomfortable to watch her. In the forefront of his mind he'd expected her to get up immediately after landing and rush at him in a flare of temper. Yet a small thought in the back of his mind whispered otherwise…

And still—regardless of that thought, he heard the words leave his lips: "Well, I expected more, Lei-Fang. This was weak."

He felt pathetic. Something inside him burned and screamed and tore at his being. The feeling made him sick, made him feel foolish, and in feeling both of those, made him feel crazy.

Jann Lee grunted, once again fighting to encase that feeling that fought to erupt into pure emotion. There was no one on this world that could invoke such feelings—_had _invoked such feelings. He suddenly turned on his heel and began to walk away, battling the rage that coursed through him. _Stop me_, a small voice in his mind whispered. _Stop me_…

His brows furrowed and his fists clenched. This was not normal; not natural. There had to be something wrong with him.

"..._You_..." He heard the small voice behind him. Turning his head slightly, he looking at its originator, the girl that knelt in the water, shaking, trembling.

"_You_..." she began again. In an instant, she bolted upright and dashed towards him, screaming. "You bastard!"

Jann-Lee hastily moved into a defending position only to be stopped abruptly when Lei-Fang didn't attack. Instead, she rammed into him, directing her entire body at him and in effect, causing him to stumble. In his haste to balance, he reached out, only to feel the sharp pain shoot through his skin. Scratching him, she swung her balled fists up and pounded them savagely against the nearest flesh.

"How can you _do _this to me? To put me through this?" Her shrieks were nearly in incomprehensible but Jann-Lee could roughly make out her angry plea.

"Wha—?" He sputtered.

Lei-Fang pounded even harder, releasing all the power she had left. She felt two warm, sweaty hands wrap around her fretful wrists. Still, she wasn't about to let that stop her, and continued to beat at any body part in front of her.  As the pressure around those wrists increased, she found it harder to move about. Screaming still, she pulled at her captive wrists, her throat already sore and the salt from her tears making her lips dry.

A faint voice barely reached her ears as the hands tightened and pulled slightly.

"Lei…—op this! What …wrong with you?" Came Jann Lee's husky voice. She felt her body finally give out and the last of the strength in her muscles disappear. Her struggling ceased and she stood still, trying and failing to not use Jann-Lee's body as support.

"Why...?" she asked, letting her head fall forward against his chest. She hiccupped, slumping, and breathed as the tears continued to trail down her skin.

Jann-Lee stared down at the woman in front of him. One moment she'd suddenly gone completely insane and angry and the next she was barely able to hold herself up. What the hell was wrong with everything today?

"Why…what?" he countered.

"Why do you do this…to me? This is hell…you drag me through hell.," she sobbed. Jann-Lee moved his head to the side to try and look at her, but he couldn't with her head hanging down. Instead, he watched as her shoulders trembled, on then noticing the wet warmth against his shirt.

_She's…crying._

"Why do you do this? Why?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and Jann-Lee had to strain to hear her.  "Why do you make it hurt so much...?"

Jann Lee blinked quizzically. "What? Oh, come on Lei-Fang. You're…you're stronger than that," he laughed nervously. Something about this whole situation made him increasingly uncomfortable…and feeling unusually stupid. "Whining over a little fall. That's not like y—"  

"That's not it!" Lei-Fang shouted, pulling free of his hold. She stepped back and turned around, walking towards edge of the shallow pond. She stopped abruptly at the edge of the fall turning to the side a bit and glared at him.

"That's not... That's not what _hurts_..." she whispered, sniffling, and shifted clutched the fabric of her dress above the spot where her heart beat murderously inside her.

Jann-Lee stared at her, and all the uncomfortable feelings, the whispers of regrets, the knots and bowties in his stomach slammed him with a force he'd never felt before. He blinked as the realization of everything echoed through his mind's eye. Thoughts began to race through his head. Memories flashed through his mind, clashing with unknown, inexperienced emotions.

_Oh…shit._

This was not possible. This was not happening. This was…unbelievable.

_This can't be true,_ he thought.

"Lei-Fang?" He asked, his voice a bit unsteady. He gulped, took a breath and a step, then stopped. His feet felt as tremulous as the water he stood in. The words leaving his lips felt like strangers passing on a street. "Are… are you… _in-love_ with me?"    

Lei-Fang's breath caught and her body tensed. _Oh,_ _God_, she thought frantically. _Oh, God, don't make me do this. Please, don't make me do this!_ She shifted her weight; if she didn't, she felt like she might collapse. The heart pounding beneath her flesh pounded to a point of almost unbearable pain. This seemed so easy when it was just a thought in the back of her mind, an unconscious conversation with her psyche. But standing here, staring out at the landscape and nearly shaking in reaction to the simple words Jann-Lee asked her made everything feel unreal.

And it made her feel awkward in her own skin.

"Are you?" His voice brought her back to attention.

"I…I—" She started, but felt her tongue shrink back as she tried to form the answer.

"Look at me, Lei-Fang."

Her body felt stiff, and frozen. She had no resolve as it was, and turning to face him might cause her to collapse altogether. Still, she knew if she didn't do it herself, he would do it for her. Forcing down the lump in her throat she slowly turned, not entirely toward him, but enough to give him a better view. Staring at the wet ground, she folded her arms tighter across her chest and gripped her arms.

"Don't…make me do this…please." Her words were breathy and strained. She could taste the tears as they fell slowly from the corners of her eyes.

Jann-Lee's voice was commanding, as always, yet for the first time she heard a hint of agitation, and nervousness. "You started this."

Anger and embarrassment flooded through her, and she clenched the skin of her arms as she attempted to settle her reactions. This was exactly what she thought was going to happen… "How dare you try to blame this all on me—"

"I didn't force you to fall in-love with me."

His stomach churned in ways he'd never felt before. Actually saying the words brought a whole new set of feelings into the mix. Lei-Fangs mouth snapped shut and her brows furrowed. He didn't want to hurt her really, but what he said was true. Up until now, he'd had no idea about her feelings. As far as he was concerned, this was just a fight. Nothing more. Yet somewhere, deep down, an unfamiliar glimmer of hope sparked his curiosity and propelled him forward. Now, he wanted to know her answer, more than—he realized now—his next opponent.

She continued to stand there, and he forced her to hold his gaze. He wanted to see what was going on in those tumultuous coffee colored eyes of her, to watch every thought, every emotion that passed through them. The water around her feet rippled in tiny waves, and Jann-Lee watched as her shoulders began to visibly tremble. A strange yearning pushed through him, and though his first desire was to examine it and determine its importance, he felt compelled to simply go with it.

Taking a step forward, he noticed Lei-Fang stiffen to a point of obvious discomfort. Still, he moved onward slowly closing the short distance between them. He watched peripherally as her chest rose and fell faster with each step. As he came to stand before her, he heard her breathing turn raspy and saw her eyes glaze over. Her trembling increased to outright shaking.

As he stared down at her, he felt his mouth go dry. "I didn't force you…to do anything."

Somehow, he felt himself reach for her, grazing his fingers across her shoulder up her neck to rest at base of her skull. Barely aware of anything anymore, he was sure he was losing his mind. Vaguely, he remembered something of the conversation he'd had this morning, but disregarded it as he felt himself draw her closer.

"I…" Her faint word mingled their breaths, and the scent of lotus blossoms filled Jann-Lee's nostrils. He felt himself shiver and his eyes close slightly as he bridged the remaining space between them.

 He'd kissed girls before. He was a man, after all. But he'd never kissed someone with intent. There was always desire, always a bodily lust, always a simple carnal hunger that needed to be satiated. But never with _intent_, never a _want_ to convey anything. Never anything like this.

It was awkward—timid—like a dare made in dark closet. Neither one moved; just stood there with their lips touching, too afraid to do anything. Jann-Lee's fingers tingled against her skin, and only then did he realize that his breath had caught in his chest.

It was also then that he felt like his lungs were about to explode. Tightening his grip on her neck, he stopped any movement between them. And any other bold move Lei-Fang chose to do.

Frozen, Lei-Fang had never been more terrified in her life. And what had possessed her to gently brush the tip of her tongue through her teeth, she couldn't say. Jann-Lee's grip on her neck proved it was a stupid decision.

What she couldn't decide, however, was whether or not his arm wrapping around her back was a mistake. Or the way he tilted her head back and turned to fit better against her.

Or the way she couldn't stop crying as he attempted to deepen the kiss.

It was so unusual. He didn't have particularly full lips, but they weren't paper thin. And they weren't soft, but still a kind of marble smooth. Somehow, she managed to uncross her arms and finger the fabric of his satin vest. It was awe-inspiring and frightening all at the same time.

And deep down in the pit of his stomach, Jann-Lee began to feel more and more like he couldn't get enough.

He muscles wound so tightly they nearly pinched under his skin. His spine tingled from the discomfort and at the same time tingled from the unfamiliar excitement that rushed through him. Something about the way Lei-Fang trembled in his arms thrilled him; that despite her obvious shaking, she clung to him.

All was silent, and the kiss was slow, scrutinizing, every bit as detailed and conscious as their battles. The relations sparked something inside Jann-Lee's mind and he pulled back. Staring down at her face, her eyes had drifted shut, and the tears had left barely visible trails along her olive skin. He gradually released his grip on her neck, and drew his arm from around her to settle both of them on either side of her shoulder. As he did so, Lei-Fang's eyes fluttered open slowly and stared into his with confusion. And fear.

Her lips moved silently, and Jann-Lee stared at them. Then looked back at her eyes.

She didn't know what to say. All of it was slow and sudden, and caused so much to run through Lei-Fang's mind. She blinked slowly and swallowed, still staring in the ever-familiar russet of his eyes. Her mouth felt pulpy, and her tongue moved lazily in her mouth. In spite of the thoughts that raced through her brain, common sense only seemed to voice a single one.

"Why?" Her voice came out in a tiny squeak.

Jann-Lee stared at her, he—himself—trying to deliberate the question. As simple as a question it was, Jann-Lee couldn't find an answer. There was no logical answer to 'why' he just suddenly did that. Something inside him told him to and for some reason, he didn't stop it. He felt Lei-Fang attempt to push away from him, but he held fast to her shoulders.

"Don't…toy with me. Why did you do that…?" Lei-Fang chewed on the inside of her cheek, her breathing coming slow, but erratic.

Jann-Lee looked thoughtful. His hands unconsciously massaged the bare skin of her upper arms. Licking his lips, he could faintly taste the sweet mint from their kiss, and swallowed the lump that had sometime formed in his throat.

"Tell me…are you in-love with me."

Lei-Fang stiffened. Fear, anxiousness, embarrassment—all coursed through her. She wanted to rip herself from his gentle grip and tear through the trees back towards her house. Her desire must have been obvious for she felt his grasp tighten only somewhat.

"Tell me why you kissed me," she blurted.

"Tell me if you love me," he countered.

She pulled on his grip, but he pulled her harshly against him and wrapped a single arm around her to hold her there. Staring into his eyes, her brows knit closely and breathed deeply. She pushed a hand up slowly and clutched the collar of his shirt. She felt the stinging of warm tears gathering against her eyes. Her mouth gaping she struggled to find the words she wanted to say.

"I…I can't tell you."

His hold on her tightened, "Then I'll kiss you again."

"Why—" This time it was harsher. It wasn't painful, but it was commanding. Lei-Fang pushed against him, but he only pushed harder, deepening the kiss. She whimpered in protest, but that only reinforced Jann-Lee to kiss her harder.

What was this girl playing? Why couldn't she just get it out already? Yet somehow he felt this wasn't the first time she had lead him on a wild goose chase—albeit a different scenario. However, whatever she _was_ playing wasn't entirely painful, or obnoxious. And a crude little piece of him rather enjoyed pushing her like so.

Pulling back, he stared at her as she gasped for breath. His own breathing had grown ragged, but he held fast. "Tell me you love me."

"No!" She snapped.

"Why not?!" His heart hammered against his ribcage. Never had any opponent caused such a rise out of him. Never had anyone made him so inwardly frustrated. Squeezing her even tighter, he felt his jaw clench and he glared down at her.

To his chagrin, the little minx returned a glare just as annoyed.

By now, Lei-Fang could barely feel her toes graze the top of the water. Jann-Lee had squeezed her so tightly, she was now nearly eye level with him.

"Put me down," she said between gritted teeth. Much to her dismay, his reply was as level-headed and cool as ever, in effect, making her feel a little foolish.

"Not until you say it."

She huffed, exasperated, and closed her eyes. Forcing herself to calm down, she could still feel tears burning the corners of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she felt her muscles relax some. "I will not sa—Ahh!!"

Her eyes snapped open as Jann-Lee tightened his grasp on her so fast she felt her back snap in several different places.

"Just say it and I'll let you go."

Heaving, she felt her body gasp for air. Reaching for his neck she couldn't quite get a good grasp and instead nearly tore at his collar. "Why do you want me to say it so much?" she yelled.

"Why _can't_ you say?" He stared at her, unabashed and undeniably open. There was no way he could understand how things had gotten this way. He simply knew they had. And he simply knew that having her crushed against him like so only served to give a bizarre explanation0 to every perplexing feeling he'd felt throughout this entire day. Having her here, so close, so frail, answered every curious question today's earlier incident had brought forth. He _liked_ this feeling and he would damned if he was going to let her stubbornness get in the way of him having it.

And had he not been so intent on rendering her immobile, he would have laughed at the irony of it all.

But really, what irony had there been, come to think of it. He was never the one who pursued the fight. He saved her life, in fact. It was her unusually ungrateful behavior that brought them to where they were today. This really wasn't his fault.

"You wanted this in the first place. Let's not forget that this was all brought about by _your_ vendetta against my interference—as you put it—six years ago. God forbid it ever occurs to you that I was trying to _help_." He stopped for a moment to think before continuing. "So…you can't say it's my fault that you…fell in-love with me."

Anger, panic, shame, regret—she couldn't quite figure out which one to feel. And yet, he was right. She could only blame herself. Hadn't she acknowledged that it was easier to fight him over and over than admit what she truly felt? And now, here he was demanding that she tell him she love him. This was what she wanted…wasn't it?

"Don't give me that."

Lei-Fang looked up, confused. "What?"

Jann-Lee stared at her and frowned. "_That_. That defeated puppy look."

Lei-Fang mimicked his expression with a frown of her own. "I do not look like a—"

"Then tell me you love me."

"Will you stop interrupting me?" She shouted. Huffing angrily, she dropped her head to rest against his collarbone. Still clutching her above the edge of the water, there wasn't a whole lot she could do besides that. This was really as far she was going to get. If he'd held her this long, she doubted he was going to let her go anytime soon. Hell, he would probably carry her home if he had too.

The thought caused a little blush to creep across her cheeks. Besides, this really wasn't so bad. And hadn't this been what she wanted, albeit admitted under forceful circumstances, but admitted nonetheless.

"So…so what if I do," she mumbled into his shirt.

"That doesn't cut it. You have to say it." He heard her groan and burrow deeper into his neck. There was something comforting about the gesture and he slacked his grip, using his free arm to more or less support her.

They stood in silence for some time, Lei-Fang's breathing finally coming down to normal consciousness. Pulling her head up, she felt a little groggy, and she knew her arms were soar from being restricted for so long. Still, she toyed with the fabric ties that held his shirt-vest together.

"I guess…  I guess I do. Love you, that is," she muttered quietly. Glancing up at Jann-Lee through her lashes, she watching him, curiously. He stared out beyond her head for a moment before setting her down and letting go of her.

"I guess that will do," he said as he turned and started for the opening to the trail.

Lei-Fang gaped at him, open-mouthed. Her arms dropped to her sides before she hurried after him, splashing through the water. Reaching for him, she grasped his pinky with her whole hand and tugged, attempting to stop him.

"Wait, that's _it_? That's all you have to say?" she asked, incredulously.

Jann-Lee thought for a second before looking at her and answering, "Yeah, that's about it." He pulled to walk again, but she stopped him.

"What about _my_ question?" She knew she sounded a bit shrill, but she didn't care. This was ridiculous.

And he had the audacity to look at her like he didn't know what she was talking about!

"About why you kissed me!" She howled. However, her frustration quickly to turned to confusion when she felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her up beside him.

She really was cute, and Jann-Lee wondered intriguingly why it hadn't come to his attention until now. Looking up him with those big mocha brown eyes, he really couldn't help it. He had to do it. Pulling her beside him, he started once again for the trail.

"That's a battle best left for next time."

A/N #2: _I think I'm pleased with this… Possibly until another seven years passes and I decided this was crap as well._


End file.
